Things I learnt on a writing retreat that are not about writing

I went on a writing retreat a couple of weeks ago. Here are some of the things I learnt that are nothing to do with writing.

Sometimes things don’t go as you expect. My plan for the week was to produce more words, to feel I’d made real progress on my current project, to reconnect with it and rediscover my motivation. It actually took half the week just to read the work I already had and get back into the zone with it, and then there was a load of input that raised many questions about what I’m doing and how to do it. That doesn’t mean the week was a waste of time just because I didn’t achieve what I set out to achieve, but it certainly meant a mental adjustment to let go of those expectations and allow the value of new learning to emerge.

People give you conflicting advice. There is no one right answer. There were two tutors on the retreat, and they had very different views about the way forward for my work. What to do? My response has been to sit with both sets of feedback, to give proper consideration to the questions raised, to treat all the advice with respect and as a learning opportunity. I still don’t know what advice I’m going to take but when I choose a path it will be better informed for having stopped and allowed my thoughts, and my intuition, to breathe.

Trust your intuition. Only you know what really matters. You are the one immersed in your project (whether that’s work, or an ambition, like my writing, or your personal life). You know what you hope for, what your intentions are, how you see it shaping up over time. Yes, listen to other people, consider what else you could be doing, learn how things are received by others, but don’t be bounced off course from something you believe in your heart to be right.

There are endless ideas in the world. There were 13 of us on the retreat, plus the tutors. Everyone had an idea for at least one writing project, often more. Every single one of them is a great idea, a great story, a great possibility. Just because of lots of people are trying to do the same as you (write a story, start a business, pursue a goal) doesn’t mean there isn’t room for yours. It’s a world of plenty.

Every human being has a unique take on life. Even starting from the same idea, the imagination veers off in very different directions. In one of my tutorials I found myself thinking: “But that’s not MY idea. This character isn’t like that. That’s not the trajectory of the story.” How often do we find ourselves in a disagreement because someone else sees things completely differently to us? We should see that as an asset, something to be utilised to mutual benefit, not something to fall out over.

Sometimes you need a bit of space. I realised half way through the week that this is the first time since Covid hit that I've been with a group of people (other than my family) 24/7 for a whole week. As an introvert, I find that exhausting, and I’ve learnt over time that it’s okay (in fact, vital) to step away and spend some time on my own.

People manage themselves and their creativity in different ways. As I watched the smokers congregating in the garden below the window where I was writing, I wondered how they were getting anything done. I’m tied to my keyboard (not getting anything done, by the way!), they’re hanging about out there chatting. Or going on a bike ride. Or a long walk. Or driving 40 minutes to get to the outdoor sea pool for a swim. How is that making the best use of a writing retreat? But that’s how some people get in touch with their imagination. That’s how some people solve problems. That’s how some people re-charge. We don’t need to shut ourselves together in a meeting room until we have thrashed out the answer. Sometimes that’s the least productive way of working, especially in complex, ambiguous situations. My most productive moment of the week came as I was falling asleep one night and thoughts arrived and I wrote them down, and they were the basis of what I wrote the next day.

A change of scene changes your perceptions. On the retreat, my writing came into focus where, in every day life, it is very background. The rest of my life retreated (pun intended). Seeing life from a different angle helped me put some things into perspective that had really been bugging me. And that perspective has lasted since I’ve been back.

Some people are annoying. Yep. Even on a writing retreat where you have a common interest and a common goal and everyone wants everyone to succeed. That person who winds you up probably tells you more about YOU than about them. Get over yourself. Let it go.

You can learn things wherever you are if you are open, curious and thoughtful. Life is full of opportunities if you take the time to see them. Grab it with both hands.