Now, as the final third of your life approaches, as many of your responsibilities drop away, perhaps as your pension investments come good, surely, maybe, possibly... you get to do what you really want? What's really stopping you?

Work life is littered with difficult decisions, and the more senior you get, the more of them there are. Almost every one of those decisions affects a person. Sometimes you have to accept that some people won’t like you. As with many things in life, the more we do it, the easier it gets and the more we embed the skills we need.

Research shows that high-achieving women experience a social backlash because the way senior leaders are expected to behave goes against unconscious expectations about how women are supposed to behave. If you're a woman in a leadership position, what are you supposed to do?

How long have you been unhappy in your current role? Do you hang on for much longer than you know is good for you? Or are you off at the first hint of trouble? Here's why.

Most of the problems people want my help with are to do with other people. How to get their team to do what needs to be done. How to motivate people. How to give difficult feedback. How to manage upwards. How to get recognition and reward. How to change things without upsetting people. And many more.

The societal and cultural norms of how women (and men) are brought up make certain leadership behaviours much harder for women to demonstrate than men. This cultural and social conditioning, unconsciously absorbed from early childhood, means that developing credibility and gravitas in senior leadership positions for many women involves changing the habits of a lifetime and is a tough challenge.

Why is it so hard to say no? As humans, we’re wired to be social animals and staying connected to others is a primary survival strategy. But it is possible to learn to say no without triggering what we perceive to be catastrophic consequences, and opening up the possibility of lower stress, more fulfilment and stronger relationships.

I recently found myself feeling very Victim when someone else did what I felt was Rescuer. It made me feel helpless, inadequate, resentful and immediately mentally checking off all the reasons why their solution wouldn’t work.

The drama triangle is a straightforward way of understanding why some conversations or relationships are difficult and how we can avoid falling into behaving in ways that don't generate productive results.