Are you a procrastinator? I definitely am. In fact, writing this right now is actually a way of avoiding something else I don’t want to do.

Mostly people write about procrastination as a bad thing to be tamed and overcome. Of course they have a point, when procrastination can lead to missed deadlines, a backlog, and a load of negative mental chatter when we beat ourselves up for being rubbish.

But what if procrastination, in some circumstances, has a useful purpose?

Here’s what I notice about my own procrastination.

It often happens when I feel stuck or uncertain. I have questions in my mind about what I’m doing, or why. Or exactly how to tackle something. I’m sure some people would power on through, holding themselves to the task however painful. And on occasion of course I do that. I don’t like to miss deadlines, I don’t like to let other people down. But there are lots of things I do that are not deadline-driven, they just need to be done sometime. Possibly there is some sort of timeframe attached - people shouldn’t have to wait weeks (days?) for a reply to an email. But they don’t necessarily need it right now.

And here’s what I notice about my own procrastination. Yes, some of it is fear of making a mistake or upsetting someone or making a fool of myself.

But some of it is because I’m just not ready.

I’ve noticed repeatedly that sometimes an email takes a while to brew. It needs time to form itself. What am I actually trying to say to this person? What form of words do I need to get the message across with the right emotional quality? What is that nagging feeling in my gut really trying to tell me? Do I need to let a heated emotional reaction settle before I do anything about this?

The thoughts take time to come forward. They lurk in my subconscious and they don’t come out to order. They have a momentum of their own.

Or there’s the phone call I need to make. I’m not a lover of the phone. I haven’t yet worked out why I have quite such a phobic dislike of it but I will go to quite some lengths to avoid calling someone.

And then sometimes I just feel ready. I’ve got the right amount of extrovert energy, and I just grab the phone and bang, the job’s done. But I have to be in the right energetic mood. And when I force myself to do it regardless, I’m clumsy, inarticulate, I forget half the points I needed to make or questions I needed to ask. I make a hash of it, and create a new critical monologue in my head about why I didn’t just wait and get myself together.

And then there’s those weird serendipitous moments when you leave something and the problem goes away. The other person decides they don’t need that thing after all, or they’ve found the answer a different way. Someone else steps in and sorts it. I do wonder, in my more woo-woo moments, if the universe isn’t looking out for me in some way, that some sort of magical energy is holding me back from doing something because it’s just not mine to do or because there is a solution on its way that doesn’t need my energy or engagement to make it happen.

This might be a bit way-out for some of you. But when you find yourself procrastinating, rather than getting cross with yourself, instead try a bit of curious inquiry. Why do I feel like this? What would help this flow more smoothly? Who else could I involve? What might happen if I leave this? What might happen if I push through? How much time can I give myself to think about this? What other solutions might there be?

This is not just an alternative way to unblock yourself. You’ll also learn something about yourself and your needs. Most of us spend a lot of time busily meeting everyone else’s needs and paying no attention to our own, to our own detriment. Take that time to understand yourself better, to appreciate your strengths, and to make space for something to happen in its own timeframe and using its own energy.

Procrastination as a source of learning, rather than self-criticism.