Mind over matter

In the 21st century, we tend to assume that if we know it or think it, we can make it happen. But if that’s true, why do all those self-help books and business case studies and leadership training not translate into action on a daily basis? Especially when we need them most?

When we’re under pressure, by which I mean anything that we feel less than confident about or feel might upset someone or cause a negative reaction, our defence mechanisms kick in. Those mechanisms emanate from the part of our brain designed to keep us alive when under threat. They bypass the rational bit of the brain and drive our physical behaviour, mostly usually our fight/flight response.

You might think you’re immune from this response, but you’re not. Our bodies are still running Stone Age software which assumes that both threats and survival are physical processes. We rarely face physical threats in the modern workplace but our bodies treat that annoying colleague, that sarcastic email, that difficult conversation, as a physical threat, and trigger a physical reaction, because that’s the only mechanism available.

Whether you’re aware of it or not, your cortisol and adrenalin are raised, your heart beats faster, your breath gets faster and higher in your chest, your blood is diverted to major organs and muscles and away from the periphery (which unfortunately includes your pre-frontal cortex, the conscious, intellectual bit of your brain), priming you for action and reducing your capacity for rational thought. That curt email you catapult straight back, that cutting put-down that leaps out of your mouth, or that frozen inability to speak are the modern equivalent of running away or picking up a weapon.

Unless and until we can notice our physical responses and learn to manage them more effectively when we’re under pressure, we are unlikely to be able to access all the knowledge we’ve acquired and put it into practice. That’s why we spend several hours after a disastrous conversation thinking of all the things we should have said but couldn’t bring to mind in the heat of the moment.

Your body reacts much more quickly than your conscious, rational brain. If a bus is coming at you, you need to get out of the way, fast, not stand there analysing your options. It makes sense, in the right context, but the modern office is not the right context for our Stone Age physiology.

Mind over matter only happens when our matter is calm. We can learn to calm the stress response, even when we’re not sure why it’s kicked off. That churning in your stomach? The clenched jaw? Shoulders up round your ears? Those are the clues that you need to make a few seconds of space to calm your body down so your mind can take over. As a first step, your breath is the super-power that allows you to re-gain control, but we have to practice repeatedly if we want it to be easily available to us in that confrontational meeting or that tetchy email exchange.

Otherwise the matter remains very much in charge.