Me

I never had much of a plan for my life. I fell into my first couple of jobs, applied opportunistically for promotions, and ended up as Head of Organisation Development at the BBC, where I also trained as a coach. I got a Masters in Organisational Consulting and continued to grow my coaching qualifications and experience.

Then, in my early 40s, I found myself divorced, jobless and virtually broke. I was lost and rudderless. I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t feel anything except desperately unhappy. I felt I had more to offer, that I ought to be leading a bigger, more fulfilled life, but I didn’t know how.

In desperation, I went to a therapist. I also started working with a somatic coach. Over the next few years, these two marvellous women helped me re-establish contact with my whole self - psychological, physical and emotional.

I learned that I diminished my impact and influence simply by how I showed up - my physical presence. I had learned as a child to keep myself small, avoid conflict, to blend in with those around me. I began to realise that these strategies were not serving me as an adult woman.

Through re-writing the stories I held about myself and teaching my body to respond differently, especially in challenging situations, I was able to behave in new ways - being seen, playing big, standing up for what I truly believe - to create the life I choose to live, not the one I was bequeathed by my history.

I learnt to open myself up to life. I learnt that being vulnerable is inevitable. You can’t fall in love without the risk of getting hurt. You can’t apply for work without the possibility of being rejected. You can’t express an opinion or take a stand for something without the likelihood of someone disagreeing.

I’ve learnt to take up my space in the world. To believe in myself. To be the person I want to be, not the one I was unconsciously trained to be by my early experiences. To accept that the people I care about will love me for who I really am, in all my flawed human-ness. I don’t need to pretend. A wholehearted life comes from being truly myself, authentic, honest, real.

This all sounds terribly worthy. I like to think I have a sense of humour, don’t take myself too seriously and that, despite the hard work involved, my clients enjoy their sessions.

Beyond work, I enjoy music, theatre, reading, writing, yoga and beautiful countryside. I’m trying to overcome my creative self-doubt and write a novel. Don’t ask me how it’s going!

And now, my mission in life is to help other women do the same.

My passion is to help women find the gravitas and impact that comes from having a clear sense of purpose, the confidence that comes from knowing who you are and the unique contribution you can make, and by clearing away the ingrained patterns of behaviour that hold you back.

If we’re going to make lasting change in our lives, we have to unlearn a load of unconscious conditioning and replace it with habits that enable us to show up differently, to take different action, to stand up for ourselves while also taking care of relationships, and to create the lives we actually want to be living.

If you want to change something in your life, I can help you.

Published writing

Help for Talking Helpers, published in Coaching At Work magazine, May 2019
Being an Integrative Practitioner, published on the good coach, May 2019